Cyber Sex Part One: SEXTING

Three Part Series On How To



With a global pandemic well and truly at our doorstep, we should all be practicing some serious sexual distancing. Whether you are in solo quarantine, or isolating with a partner who is driving you up the wall, now is the perfect time to explore some alternate ways to get off (all while keeping 1.5m distance). I’m talking cyber-sex.


Safety first

Before we launch into things, let’s get the T&Cs out of the way. Just because we don’t necessarily need to safeguard from STDs or surprise pregnancies, does not mean that virtual sex is exempt from other safe sex practices. In fact, the most important rule of virtual sex is to be safe. You must know who you are talking to and confirm that all parties are over 18 years of age. Ensure that what you are sending is welcomed (i.e. no unsolicited dick pics, boys). Make sure your partner feels comfortable and does not feel pressured to share any content they don’t want to. Above all, never share private messages or images from your partner with other people.

Now that’s out of the way, stay tuned for how you can make the most out of sexual isolation (without sacrificing any of the good stuff).




Whether you are loved up or starting something new, sexting is a great way to explore your sexual desires and spice things up in the bedroom.

Unless you have been living under a rock, you will know what sexting is. On the off chance you don’t, sexting is sending suggestive or explicit messages and/or images online or via mobile. Sexting can range from cute and flirty to downright dirty, and there is no one size fits all. My best advice is to play with what feels comfortable and most natural.



Slow and steady wins the… orgasm

Just like with old fashioned face-to-face analogue sex, foreplay is essential if you want to experience gratifying text sex. After all, you wouldn’t just jump straight into penetration without some warm up, right?

Sexting is all about the build-up. Take the time to set the mood. Describe things slowly and in detail.  Explain where you are, what you see, and what you are wearing. Break down each step of what you want to do to your partner (or have your partner do to you). Arousal takes time and stimulation, so the slower and more specific you can be, the better.




What do I say…?

You would think that hiding behind a screen would make text sex far less awkward than a physical encounter. Wrong. Sexting can feel forced at the best of times, and uncomfortable at the worst. However, you don’t have to be an erotic novelist to enjoy exciting cyber-sex.
The key is to feel confident in any messages that you are sending. There is no point hurdling into explicit kink banter if you feel awkward or daunted talking dirty. Stick to language you would ordinarily use without feeling embarrassed. If you are sexting someone you know, communicate in a way where your personality shines through. After all, there is nothing sexier than self-confidence.




A picture tells 1000 words

If you feel that you are getting stuck for what to say, break things up with a sexy selfie. Sending an erotic photo can deepen intimacy between you and your partner, and will leave you both chomping at the bit to get your hands on one another (post iso, obviously).
If you aren’t comfortable sending a full-on nude, a suggestive photo can be just as tantalising. Snap a selfie revealing just a touch of cleavage. If anonymity is more your style, take a picture that slightly exposes an erogenous zone of the body. If you keep some selfies in the bank, you will be able to send them in the moment without deliberating over it for too long.
As always, don’t send anything you don’t feel comfortable with and only send photos to people you trust.



Take a trip down memory lane

If all else fails, reliving a past sexual experience is a great way to get the conversation flowing. Try describing a previous romp you have had with your partner by starting things off with phrases like ‘I love the way you…’ or ‘remember the time we…’. By focussing on your lived experiences, you will find it easier to describe sexual scenarios. After a while, you may even feel comfortable enough to explore some your secret fantasies!


Always have fun!

The truth of the matter is, there is no right or wrong way to sext. The real key is to have fun and not take it too seriously!


Check in next week for more cyber-sex tips and tricks so that you can flourish, bloom, and prosper throughout sexual isolation.

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