Increase your self-love through solo sexual exploration this Valentines day.
A day of love, lust, and… loathing. Yep, I’m talking about Valentine’s Day. Whether you are coupled up, flying solo, or holding onto hope that this is the year Mr ‘heyyyyy you up?’ will text you before 4am, this Valentine’s Day should be all about some self sexploration.
Exploring your sexuality is a one-way ticket to a healthy and happy sex life. By getting to know your body, and consequently learning what makes you tick in the bedroom, you can guide sexual partners towards what you do like, and help them steer clear of what you don’t. Engaging in self-pleasure also opens us up to new and exciting experiences and can serve to build confidence when interacting with the subjects of our desires.
Experiment with some of the below ideas to increase your V Day self-love!
Engage with the senses
Usually under-acknowledged, the ability to explore and enjoy one’s senses is the gateway to experiencing better sex, whether by yourself or with a partner. To be sensual is to engage with the senses, being touch, smell, sight, sound and taste. We are required to be present in the moment and actively engage with what is around us. Once we open our senses, we can feel more in touch with the outside world, as well as within ourselves.
Sensual and erotic, taking a long soak can open your senses in a myriad of ways…
As you fill the bath, focus on the sound of the water gushing and pooling below. Undress gradually, paying attention to the texture of your clothing and the sensation of your skin beneath it. Feel the steam wrap around you as you slowly enter the warm water, immersing one toe at a time. Add a few drops of scented oil and inhale the perfume as you relax against the cool enamel. Light candles for some sexy mood lighting and observe their flicker across the tiles. By just taking a moment to engage with these surroundings, you will feel calm, open, and confident in your own skin. It is up to you where you take things from there…
Dress ups, wine, and erotica?
Get intimate and indulge yourself to increase your self-love this Valentine’s Day (or any day).
Step one: Go out and get yourself some new lingerie. And by go out, I really do mean go out. Try on as many things as you can! Do not sit at home in your trackies browsing ASOS for the cheapest lacy negligee while crying into a bag of XXXTRA Flamin’ Hot Cheetos thinking about how skinny you “used to be”. Feel the fabric on your skin and observe how the items hug your body. Look at your curves, your lumps and bumps and appreciate all of you.
The most important thing is to find something that you feel sexy in. It can be as simple as a cute pair of knickers, or as indulgent as a crotchless leather teddy with matching collar, leash and gimp mask. The choice really is yours.
Whatever you’re into, just make sure it’s something you are into. One fail safe piece of advice – if you can’t envision yourself strutting down the hallway to ‘Boys’ by Britney Spears, then it is not the lingerie for you.
Step two: Buy some wine. Now, I am no connoisseur (I have certainly played my fair share of goon-of-fortune during my blessed time on this earth), but please spend more than $10 on a bottle of wine for your special night. Get two bottles. Probs should be red.
Step three: Read erotica. With the wide world of internet porn at our fingertips, erotica has somewhat fallen to the wayside when it comes to engaging with sexual content. However, as well as getting you hot-and-steamy, erotica has several added psychological benefits. Reading erotica can help relieve stress and anxiety, and can allow you to explore your own sexual fantasies in a safe and non-confrontational environment. Erotica also has the potential to help you think about your own sex life in a more positive light.
Combine these three ideas for a pleasure filled evening that’s all about you!
When I think about you I touch myself
Of course, when we talk about solo sex, masturbation is the first thing that comes to mind – and TBH I could discuss this topic F.O.R.E.V.E.R. However, for the sake of my future employment, I won’t go into the nitty gritty of my personal how-to on having sex with yourself.
However, if you are feeling like trying something new, one of the best ways to explore self pleasure is through tantric masturbation. Just like tantric sex, tantric masturbation is all about awareness, and requires us to live in the moment, rather than rushing to the destination.
To get things going, set the scene – dim the lights, light some candles, and play music. The experience is about you so treat yourself to all the bells and whistles that you would any other sexual partner.
Lay back and relax. Take time exploring your body and experiment with what feels best. Relish in the moment by touching yourself slowly and sensually, in a variety of ways and places. Concentrate – alternating between slow and fast movements. Hold off on orgasming by slowing things down, and then pick up the pace to increase your pleasure. Don’t feel pressure to orgasm, but if you do, it will certainly put a spring in your step for the rest of the weekend.
By Good Girl Rhi Rhi