Let’s talk… butt stuff.

Anal play is a subject we not-so-secretly love to talk about here at Kisskill. There is a whole world of pleasure available to you when it comes to your back door, and we’ve never been ones to deny ourselves, just because of a little smidge of taboo. 

We’ll ease in nice and slow, we promise.

Why even consider anal play?

The short answer is: because it can feel incredibly good. 

The long answer…

Physiologically, the anus is a jackpot of sensitive nerve endings. So when anal play is done right, and you’re relaxed and comfortable getting into it… trust us, the high can blow your mind. 

Anal play is a wonderful way to lean into discovering more of your body and your pleasure. It can be a practice of reminding you to slow down and listen to yourself; because the more you’re tuned into your body, the more pleasure you can allow yourself to really feeeel. 

Exploring anal play, especially if you’ve never done it before, can also be a very intimate experience with a partner. And quite honestly, the taboo of it can absolutely add to the fun and sexiness (hello, kinky friends!) of your play.

Fears, concerns, taboos

But(t) what if it hurts? What if I don’t want anyone looking at my brown starfish? What if it fucks up my delicate little bumhole? And worst of all… what if I shit everywhere??

Look. We get it. These are all VERY valid – and very normal! – concerns.

Poop

Let’s start with probably the squirmiest of these concerns, for many of us… let me tell you, we’ve all been there. One of the best and most normalising responses we’ve ever heard from a partner after a little bowel-movement-moment in anal sex is: “Well, sometimes when you go knocking on shit’s door, sometimes shit is home!”

And it’s true. This is the human body; so sometimes, dirty may apply to more than just talk. Let us reiterate: anyone who isn’t comfortable with the possibility of a little bit of brown making an appearance while they’re plumbing your pipes, probably isn’t the best person to be trying anal sex with!

So make sure you have that conversation with them beforehand, if you’re interested in trying it out. Because if you don’t feel comfortable that you – and they – will be fine if a little accident did happen, you’re going to be tensed up, not relaxed. Which brings us to…

Pain

We’re not going to lie to you. Yes, anal sex can sometimes hurt – when you haven’t taken the proper time to prepare. If you’re concerned about pain from anal sex, chances are you’ve already had this experience, or you’ve heard some gnarly stories. But all is not lost!

The key is to truly start slooooowly. Like, way slower than you think. Getting used to anal toys first, or even getting used to simply being touched in that area (anus, perineum) can all be important ways to begin. Remember: you want to feel as comfortable and aroused as possible when it comes time to experience anal penetration, so warming up is worth it. More on this in Part 2 of this post!

Perfectly you

And finally, when it comes to feeling shy or embarrassed about your bootyhole, we get that too. It’s so normal! Talking about buttholes can feel really uncomfortable, especially with all the messaging many of us have received about what our bits ‘should’ look like. Bleached, hairless, ‘perfectly’ pink, etc. 

We will always continue to remind you that there is no ‘better’ way for your body to look. Forget porn or comparing your bits to some unreal ideal. Every body is different. Your body is uniquely yours, and deserves celebrating exactly as it is. Literally – there is no one like you. 

“But it’s my BUTTHOLE!” 

Anyone who wants to be getting up close and personal with your behind isn’t thinking about the aesthetics of your butthole, we promise (and if they are, they aren’t worth sharing this experience with!). They’re going to be excited as hell that they’re getting to share this kinky, sexy, little-bit-taboo experience with you. The fun part is, you could be making someone’s kink dreams come true… and maybe, even, finding your new favourite thing to do.

How to prepare?

You can have all of these concerns, and still experience incredible anal sex, with the right preparation. So in PART 2, we’ll get right into all the ways you can prepare, play, and follow-up with aftercare.

Stay tuned for PART 2!

A gentle reminder: You never need to try any sexual acts you don’t want to do, just because someone may be pressuring you to do it. If you’ve had your own curiosities about trying something new – because you’ve always found the idea a little exciting, or you’ve had friends sing its praises – and you have someone you feel safe and comfortable exploring it with, go for it.

But if you’re finding yourself gritting your teeth and reluctantly saying “Okay” just to appease someone else, remember that someone worth being intimate with should always respect your boundaries.