Ready to play? An intro to sex parties
Play party. Sex party. Swinger’s party. Orgy.
Whatever you want to call them, we want to know… have you ever been curious about them?
Experienced attendees may know all the tips and tricks already, but if you’re new to the glorious, glittering underworld that is Melbourne’s play party scene - read on.
What is a play party, and what to expect
A play party, or sex party, is exactly what it sounds like. They’re events where adventurous, open-minded (sometimes nervous!) people come together (ahem) to play intimately with others. You could attend alone, with friend/s or your partner(s). There are lots of different types of play parties, too: private or public ones, play-focused or party-focused - and we’ll get into some of these distinctions later on in the blog!
The sequence of events at a sex party can differ, depending on which type you attend. But one thing is for sure: you can expect to see, and hear, a whole lot of - you guessed it - sex. There are going to be plenty of bodies in various states of undress and configurations of play (couples, threesomes, or more), and a decidedly erotic backing track of moans and groans. It can feel quite surreal if you’ve never been in this kind of environment before – all part of the fun!
Why attend a play party
Though they may seem intimidating to a newbie at first, sex parties are a whole damn lot of FUN. If you’ve ever felt even the tiniest thrill as you thought to yourself, “Wow, I wonder what that would be like?!”... chances are, when you’re lying on your deathbed, you won’t regret having given it a go.
A play party can be a wonderful place to feel free and liberated, to indulge your exhibitionist or voyeuristic side, and to also meet and connect with other people who are open-minded about these experiences, just like you.
Now, play parties can certainly be overwhelming your first time. But always remember that anyone seeking to play with you, or vice versa, should be obtaining enthusiastic verbal consent before engaging intimately. It’s also a good idea to ensure, before attending events like these, that you are comfortable communicating your own boundaries, to be able to advocate for yourself and say “No” when something isn’t aligned for you. Don’t forget: ‘No’ is a full sentence!
What are the different types of play parties?
Private:
Usually organised on a smaller scale by individuals who invite friends, and friends of friends! Or, there are swingers/non-monogamy community groups which run parties for vetted members.
Public:
Tickets to public play events can be purchased by the general public without requiring membership, and are generally either large-scale party-focused events (read below!), or at dedicated sex-on-premises venues such as Between Friends Wine Bar.
Play-focused:
Some play parties, more often the smaller or private ones, will be focused a lot more around the play itself. You’ll usually mingle at the start of the evening, to settle your nerves and get to know the others in the room; there might be some entertainment or performances; and after an hour or two, organisers will usually announce that play may commence!
Party-focused:
Alternatively, larger events such as Purr pride themselves on taking the pressure off of play, and curating tantalising nights where the main attraction is the music, immaculate vibes, entertainment and, most of all: a safe space for attendees to be free to fully express themselves - whatever that means for you. It may be the thrill of strutting your stuff in a beautiful lingerie set on the dancefloor… or fulfilling your fantasies with a lover (or two) in the designated play areas.
What to wear to a play party
Now, you know we were going to say lingerie. In our humble opinion – if you’ve got a little lingerie addiction like we do – a play party is the perfect place to show yourself off in a gorgeous set, whether it be lacy and romantic, or strappy and exhilarating.
Many play parties will often have a theme to their evenings, which can mean a great opportunity to try something a little different to what you might usually wear. And we’re all about trying new things! Some parties are also more kink-oriented than others (think: harnesses, more strappiness, collars, handcuffs, etc) – but whatever the vibe, if you’re new to the scene, you can never go wrong with a classic black set.
Our top picks for your first play party ‘fit:
Regardless of what it is you end up wearing, however, the most important thing is this: that YOU feel incredible in it. Forget about what you think you should be wearing, or what others/your partner/potential lovers might find sexy. Life’s too short to be worried about whether your belly is flat enough, or if your breasts are pushed-up enough, when you’re at a literal orgy! If you feel sexy AF, comfortable in your skin, and confident as hell, you’ll shine. So go forth, and slay.
Ready to give play parties a go?
With hundreds of customers walking through our doors on the hunt for lingerie to wear to a play party over the years, we’re pretty clued up when it comes to the Melbourne play party scene.
If you’re new to the play party game, here’s a couple of great places to start:
Purr - Based on Chapel St, Purr parties explore exotic themes and host daring shows, showcasing a night of costumes and colour. Playing for over 20 years, PURR parties are well-known for dancing the night away in next to nothing, with the option to play in dedicated spaces.
Between Friends Wine Bar - Based in Balaclava, events at Between Friends start with mingling downstairs and getting to know each other over a few drinks. When you’re ready, dress down and head upstairs to for a fun, safe and clean swinging experience in beautifully designed rooms.
IMPORTANTLY: It would be remiss of us not to emphasise that, if you are completely new to this world, safety is your most important consideration. It can be easy to get caught up in the thrill and excitement of it all, but the reality is that, in this sort of environment, there can still be those who may try to take advantage of those new to the scene.
For your first forays into play parties, best practice is to attend events at licensed venues like those we’ve just mentioned; you can get an idea of what the scene is like, with the reassurance that there are safety measures in place should the need arise. Attend events with people or friends you trust – and, even better, who may be experienced. Bottom line is, take your own safety seriously. Do your research, be aware of your surroundings, be with others you trust, and stand strong in your own ability to sense if anything might feel off. All so you can enjoy an experience that feels safe, freeing, and exciting!
